I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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