I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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