carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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