I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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