Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
