My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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