Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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