areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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