I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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