Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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