Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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