You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
