You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i think i have two assholes
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
