did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
