Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
