Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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