Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
