We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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