what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
