But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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