Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
What a dumb baby whore.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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