I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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