Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
