i think my mom watched the whole time
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
