I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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