I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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