She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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