So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
