WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
