Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
