smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
