Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
