I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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