Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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