we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
