bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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