I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
