You're so nebulous sometimes
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
