god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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