no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
