ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
