Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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