Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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