Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
did i just pee glitter
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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