the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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