i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
there's paper in my vomit.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
