I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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