I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize