u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
