You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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