I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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