He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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