I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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