WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
