Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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