k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
