And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
