So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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