But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
