so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
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You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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