Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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